Weapons of Mass Consumption

It seems logical to think: "I have money. I will use some of my money to get to my dream location and will use another portion of it while I am there. I have enough money to accomplish this. I am now done thinking about money."

Yeah...no. From the Bank of America freakout over a 20 Euro charge to alien PIN numbers and "world currency", this, like many other things surrounding international travel, is a process (or, as my Canadian co-workers insist on pronouncing it "PROcess").

This picture illustrates the extent to which I am going to move my existence temporarily from the western to the eastern hemisphere. I am taking three lumps of cash: Good, old, American dollars; European Euros (they take this stuff everywhere, right?) and English Pounds. I am taking the dollars because I am stopping (twice) in New Jersey and you never know when you might need to buy some gabagoo or have someone whacked (friends of ours only accept dollars). Also, I find that as an American abroad, if I speak loudly and wave around dollars, I can get whatever I want and the locals seem to enjoy my display of western capitalism.

The Euros are going to be used all over Ireland - Free Ireland, that is, because they are not accepted in Occupied Ireland. Neither are dollars, apparently, which brings us to the reason to have a smattering of otherwise useless British Pounds. According to Fodor's Ireland 2009 travel guide, if you do manage to find a place that accepts dollars or euros in Occupied Ireland, the locals like to give you your change in even more useless Northern Ireland bank script - think Confederate dollars. Sweet, huh?

I am also taking check cards from my two favorite banks - Bank of Imperialist America and J.P. Morgan Chase Manhattan Huntley and Brinkley, as well as a charge card from B of IA. (Funny sidebar: On Saturday night, I was hanging out with my brother - the old one - and he called to order pizza, which seemed like a good choice to accompany us while we spent the evening watching two guys from Hollywood pretend to rough it while riding motorcycles from Scotland to South Africa. Everything was going fine with the pizza order until my bro told the young lady on the phone that he would like to put the order on his charge card.
"I'm sorry, sir, you want to do what?
I'd like to put the order on my charge card.
You want to put the order on your what?
Charge card - can I put the order on my charge card?
Um, like, just a minute, 'kay? I have to ask someone."

After a ridiculous amount of time on hold listening to Pappa John's life story, she came back on the phone and said "Ohhh, you mean 'credit'?".

And 45 minutes later, we were in carb heaven.

So, back to the whole money discussion. The salient point here is bring lots of different colored cash (I'm thinking I may get some Yen and Rupees, too). Oh - here's a fun fact which Chase neglected to tell me and B of IA almost forgot to tell me - if you try to get money from an ATM over there and your PIN begins with a '0', it won't work! Apparently, no one in the entire eastern hemisphere has a PIN that begins with a zero. Guess who does, though? Yeah - times 2. So, now, I have to change a PIN that I have used since ATMs were invented just to use these machines. Of course, I will do this with a song in my heart, because this is a big deal and I only sweat the small stuff.

Next (or whenever I get around to it): Drive left, shift left, look right when it doesn't make sense.

Visual Aids

My Brother suggested that I add an overall map of Ireland to give a sense of scale (or lack thereof). So, I'll start with a map of the whole island. And, yes, it really is an island, not connected to the European continent.

I have added some color to clarify the difference between good and evil. The (good) green arrow points to the approximate location of Sligo.

Some months ago, I began my online search for accommodations in Ireland. After slogging through heaps of travel sites and systematically eliminating the more froo-froo star-system mega-chain mondo-lobby selections to which I have become accustomed in recent years, I started to look at Bed and Breakfast establishments. I found the best deals at: http://www.goireland.com/ . That's where I found the Glach-a-mara Holiday Homes Bed and Breakfast in County Sligo.

The "Glach", as I fondly refer to it, sits on the N15, just 10 miles north of Sligo city. It's obviously very near the Atlantic, but it's unclear to me at this point if you can actually see the ocean from the B&B, but for about $50 a night, who cares?

Shoes - The monochromatic collection

As a kid, I remember thinking "why should shoes be so uncomfortable?". Like most kids I grew up with, I had two pairs at any one time - one pair of "soft" shoes (tennis shoes) and one pair of "hard" shoes (dress shoes). My old Converse tennis shoes were great, but I could never seem to find a pair of "hard" shoes that were comfortable. I think I believed that if you just bought enough pairs of a great variety, you'd surely find a pair that made your feet smile. Add to this the fact that - on my own, mind you - I had an epiphany of sorts about 20 years ago, realizing that black shoes do not, in fact, go with brown pants, plus some years later, my daughter recoiling in horror to see me in black shoes with a brown belt, and finally the fact that I NEVER return anything I buy that doesn't work out, and you can easily understand why I have 30 pair of shoes.

Knowing that I have 30 pair of shoes, you should be quite impressed that only two pair of shoes are going to make the trans-Atlantic journey with me. I'll be taking the white Nike walking shoes (a coworker once recognized me across a crowded restaurant by these shoes) and the seldom seen, reserve pair of black Nike shoes, to which I have assigned the role of "driving/sitting shoes". Both pair are well suited for their assigned roles, so there should be no need to bring more than two pair to Ireland. Of course, I make no guarantees, expressed or implied, about the number of pairs of shoes I will bring home.

This is really happening, isn't it?

Ok, so 'm 9 days out and it's just now beginning to hit me that this is not only actually going to happen, but it's gonna happen pretty damned fast. I'm getting myself psyched up by listening to a fine little Irish band from Boston called Dropkick Murphys. I particularly recommend "Flannigan's Ball" from their "The Meanest of Times" CD. A fine little ditty, it is.

Oh - I solved the whole trans-Atlantic telecommunications crisis. I bought a SIM card from Irish cell phone company O2 on Ebay and subsequently discovered that one of my "inventory" cell phones (an old Motorola V400) was shipped from the factory unlocked, so I just popped the Irish SIM card in and I had an instant Irish cell phone. Cool. Of course, there was much drama surrounding the "topping up" of the phone, but the details make my hair hurt, so I'll spare you. I did get to speak to O2 customer service in Dublin. The woman I spoke to was appropriately aloof, bored and possessed an accent the thickness of which I feared had long left the old country. Yeah, this is gonna be cool.

My itinerary is not solidified as of yet, but I do have a general outline. Of course, I'll be based in Sligo, in northwest Free Ireland. From there, I can make day trips to Dublin, Galway, the southwest and southwest coasts - all of which are in Free Ireland. I also plan to do day trips to Belfast and Derry in Occupied Ireland - just to piss off the English.

My dedicated pile of "take with" stuff is growing nicely. I now have three (maybe four) pairs of flannel-lined pants, a nice wool hat, full sized headphones, a GPS unit with maps of Free and Occupied Ireland, voltage converters and adapters, a spare battery charger thingy, a really cool National Geographic camera bag that's big enough to hold my Nikon, two lenses, GPS, netbook, sunglasses and at least two packs of smokes.

Now, all I have to do select my shoes...