Weapons of Mass Consumption

It seems logical to think: "I have money. I will use some of my money to get to my dream location and will use another portion of it while I am there. I have enough money to accomplish this. I am now done thinking about money."

Yeah...no. From the Bank of America freakout over a 20 Euro charge to alien PIN numbers and "world currency", this, like many other things surrounding international travel, is a process (or, as my Canadian co-workers insist on pronouncing it "PROcess").

This picture illustrates the extent to which I am going to move my existence temporarily from the western to the eastern hemisphere. I am taking three lumps of cash: Good, old, American dollars; European Euros (they take this stuff everywhere, right?) and English Pounds. I am taking the dollars because I am stopping (twice) in New Jersey and you never know when you might need to buy some gabagoo or have someone whacked (friends of ours only accept dollars). Also, I find that as an American abroad, if I speak loudly and wave around dollars, I can get whatever I want and the locals seem to enjoy my display of western capitalism.

The Euros are going to be used all over Ireland - Free Ireland, that is, because they are not accepted in Occupied Ireland. Neither are dollars, apparently, which brings us to the reason to have a smattering of otherwise useless British Pounds. According to Fodor's Ireland 2009 travel guide, if you do manage to find a place that accepts dollars or euros in Occupied Ireland, the locals like to give you your change in even more useless Northern Ireland bank script - think Confederate dollars. Sweet, huh?

I am also taking check cards from my two favorite banks - Bank of Imperialist America and J.P. Morgan Chase Manhattan Huntley and Brinkley, as well as a charge card from B of IA. (Funny sidebar: On Saturday night, I was hanging out with my brother - the old one - and he called to order pizza, which seemed like a good choice to accompany us while we spent the evening watching two guys from Hollywood pretend to rough it while riding motorcycles from Scotland to South Africa. Everything was going fine with the pizza order until my bro told the young lady on the phone that he would like to put the order on his charge card.
"I'm sorry, sir, you want to do what?
I'd like to put the order on my charge card.
You want to put the order on your what?
Charge card - can I put the order on my charge card?
Um, like, just a minute, 'kay? I have to ask someone."

After a ridiculous amount of time on hold listening to Pappa John's life story, she came back on the phone and said "Ohhh, you mean 'credit'?".

And 45 minutes later, we were in carb heaven.

So, back to the whole money discussion. The salient point here is bring lots of different colored cash (I'm thinking I may get some Yen and Rupees, too). Oh - here's a fun fact which Chase neglected to tell me and B of IA almost forgot to tell me - if you try to get money from an ATM over there and your PIN begins with a '0', it won't work! Apparently, no one in the entire eastern hemisphere has a PIN that begins with a zero. Guess who does, though? Yeah - times 2. So, now, I have to change a PIN that I have used since ATMs were invented just to use these machines. Of course, I will do this with a song in my heart, because this is a big deal and I only sweat the small stuff.

Next (or whenever I get around to it): Drive left, shift left, look right when it doesn't make sense.